Free Download PDF Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village
A weekend roaming narrow old lanes, touring the faded glories of a country manor, and quaffing pints in the pub. How charming. That is, unless you have the misfortune of finding yourself in an English Murder Village, where danger lurks around each picturesque cobblestone corner and every sip of tea may be your last. If you insist on your travels, do yourself a favor and bring a copy of this little book. It may just keep you alive.
Brought to life with dozens of Gorey-esque drawings by illustrator Jay Cooper and peppered with allusions to classic crime series and unmistakably British murder lore, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village gives you the tools you need to avoid the same fate, should you find yourself in a suspiciously cozy English village (or simply dream of going). Good luck! And whatever you do, avoid the vicar.
From the Publisher
MACKENZIE, THE PRIVATE SECRETARY
“I’ve served this family for two hundred and thirty . . . I mean, twenty years.”
REGINALD, THE CHILD
Hangs out in the walls, keeps spiders in bottles, studies nineteenth-century dental procedures, collects lithographs of major historical fires.
THE OLDEST RESIDENT
They’re the hardest to kill for a reason.
Locals gather here at any time of day to enjoy a pint of cider and a chat. You, however, are not a local. The moment you enter the pub, you will be observed from every corner. You will be wound in a fabric of pleasant conversation as you are consumed.
THAT SUIT OF ARMOR, THE ONE WITHOUT A SWORD
Unlikely to kill you. It doesn’t even have a sword. Wait. Didn’t it have a sword before? Anyway, this is where they put your body after you’ve been murdered in order to surprise and terrify the others, so there’s really no point in worrying about it.
Full of the skeletons of Victorian children and, if you are unwise, you.
Publisher:Ten Speed Press (September 14, 2021)
Item Weight:11.2 ounces
Dimensions:5.77 x 0.66 x 7.77 inches